Leading with Wisdom - 7 wise moves

As our global leaders sit down in Paris and contemplate the future of our planet, I wonder - did you know that in 2014 the World Economic Forum published a report on the Top 10 Trends expected for 2015?   It revealed that Trend No 3 was a Lack of Leadership.   Nothing new here I think to myself, as we lurch from crisis to crisis across our global village.   What does feel new is that the burning platform for change is getting a bit hotter.   At least we are talking about leadership in from a different place than we were 20 or 30 years ago.

I think that there’s a case to be argued that we all have to play a role in this.   That it isn’t all down to our global leaders, our politicians, our corporations and the system; although this isn’t about letting them off the hook. 

Leadership behoves us all.   If leadership is about showing up for what you care about, taking a dignified stand to employ your talent and skills in what matters to you, we all get to be leaders.

What we need to be able to do is employ our passions and our talents cannily.   We need to employ them with wisdom but what really is wisdom and how is it developed? 

We live in a world that values knowledge and information.  How many years has it been since ‘to google’ became a recognised verb, reflecting our ability to access any information we required at any point in time?    We fill our children’s heads with information so that they can pass tests and exams but do we teach them to be ‘wise’?   

The Oxford dictionary defines wisdom as ‘the quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgement’ but I think that there is something that is slightly more nuanced than this definition, if one takes it literally. 

Nonaka and Takeuchi in ‘The Big Idea: The Wise Leader (HBR 2011) refer to the ‘Practical Wisdom’ of Aristotle.  Practical Wisdom, according to their studies is experiential knowledge that enables people to make ethically sound judgements [often for the common good].   

They ask the question of why the acquisition and application of knowledge doesn’t always result in ‘wisdom’.  We can all think of people who are very knowledgeable but significantly lacking in common sense.

The nuance of wisdom can often be felt.  When someone speaks something wise to us, we are offered something new, a new perspective, a gap opens up that we hadn’t previously observed.  How can we learn to do this for ourselves?  For me there is a sense of some intangible quality that I can’t quite grab hold of but feel that I know it when I experience it.   Where does wisdom come from and how is it developed? 

Human beings have a wealth of capacities.  We are logical, rational, analytical, intuitive, spiritual, at times even mystical.  We are mind, body and soul, or if you prefer, head, heart and spirit.    I would argue that our wisdom comes from the alignment of these dimensions, these facets of ourselves. 

Wise leadership is dependant upon much more than our ability to cognitively acquire information (facts, models, theories) and apply it.  Wisdom for ourselves depends upon our ability to understand deeply who we are and how we observe and experience the world.   If we throw in some curiosity and reflection we can arrive at a place where we start to understand how or where we might be able to produce new meanings and interpretation for ourselves, of and potentially for others. 

The evidence would suggest that wisdom comes from an inner knowing.  The ability to take what is known and synthesize this with what is felt and sensed at a deeper biological and physical level.  Intuition plays a big part.  As we now know thanks to the work of Daniel Kahneman (and others) we are far more emotionally led than we typically acknowledge.   Wisdom would seem to come from that place where we can read situations, contexts, relationships and connections, combine it with our insights on the deeper motivations and desires of self and others, work through consequences and impacts, and somehow arrive at the next wise move. 

So how do we develop a deeper inner knowing from which we might be ‘wise’?   

We need to know who we are – well.

In the first instance we have to know who we are, how we are.   I would tentatively suggest that there is no end to knowing who we are, that we are so layered, so deep that we could spend a lifetime exploring what makes us tick, how we show up, for what purpose and how we got to be that way.    This requires us to learn what kind of ‘observer’ we are.

The way I typically describe what I mean by ‘observer’ to my clients is this.  Imagine you and I were sitting in a coffee shop one day and we see a car accident.  We observe the same accident.  However the way in which we respond physically and emotionally, the way in which we interpret events and re-tell them will be different.  This is because we are unique individual observers in the world.  What is true for me, is different for what is true for you, even though the event was the ‘same’.    Once we understand the observer that we are (or at least have some insights) we can then begin to create if we want to, different realities for ourselves.  This isn’t about going of into some fantasy land, but simply, being able to look at what else there might be that we haven’t previously seen.  

Understand the context

We need to understand that we do not operate in isolation.  Whilst we live in highly individualised societies, in reality we operate in a context.  Our actions, our wisdom is influenced, applied within and from that context.  The two are inseparable.    Our ability to quickly grasp the meaning and essence of any situation and the people within it is critical to our ability to understand the operational context. 

Pay attention to the inner world

Our inner world offers us a mine of information.  Developing our ability to tune into the full range of our sensations, our feelings, emotions, moods, and inner dialogue we are cultivate for ourselves yet more perspectives on the situation and what might be needed.   Wisdom comes from paying attention to what comes from within as well as ‘without’. 

Be non-judgemental, be accountable and be responsible

Being judgemental with ourselves deprives us of the learning opportunity.  Being non-judgemental doesn’t mean letting ourselves of the hook, being accountable and responsible in the service of wisdom, requires us to reflect, review and learn from our actions and those of others.

This came home very recently when I found myself driven quickly to anger.   My reaction was inconsistent with the situation and I could have easily moved to shame and guilt.  Instead, I became be curious about the deeper reason for my outburst.  I had to move beyond the circumstances and ask why, given what I know about myself, I was so deeply triggered.  Listening to the real inner voices behind my angry words, I learnt something new.  I learnt that I have still have work to do.  As for accountability and staying on the hook, I apologised, explained the inner conversation, and asked for some support to move forwards.

Cultivate different perspectives and possibilities

We are familiar with the idea of standing in another’s shoes.   I think we should be actively cultivating different perspectives and possibilities.    I have engaged in so many coaching conversations where the client has one or two perspectives on a situation and yet there are many more that can be considered.   This is so important for our relationships with others.  Given that for the vast majority of us, relationship in some shape or form is a constant in our lives, the ability to see another possibility, another scenario for a person’s words, actions or mood is invaluable. 

Reflect on the common good

Research on Wisdom suggests that there is always an element of thinking beyond the immediate, being able to see different moves ahead and having genuine concern for the greater good.   The wise actions, the wise words are often in the service of something greater than individual gains.  Finding purpose for our actions – for the purpose of what – would I do or say this, supports wisdom. 

Commit to the path of wisdom – for the benefit of all

The path of wisdom could easily be a lifetime’s path.  If we think of the great and the good, those we hold up to be exemplars of wise words and acts, we could assess that their work was never complete.  Whilst they gave us many gifts of wisdom they stayed in their practices for a lifetime (Mother Theresa and Ghandi, the obvious ones immediately spring to mind)   I would conjecture that there are always new levels of wise knowing available to be discovered. 

Perhaps if we stand up wisely for what we care about we might one by one and collectively start to make a beautiful difference in the disordered and chaotic world that we have created. 

Time, Technology And Leisure

Photo by Andy Beales on Unsplash

About 40 years ago we were told that advances in technology would automate our lives to such a degree that by now we would all be swimming about in so much leisure time we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves. 

As we approach the end of the year I am wondering what happened.  More people than ever report feeling stressed and harried, and most if asked would dispute having more leisure time.  If however you spend some time researching this topic you will learn that in fact overall leisure time has increased and working hours have fallen.   Research by the OECD suggests that Britains and Americans are working about 120 hours less per year now since they were I990.  Leisure time has increased by about 8 hours per week for men and 6 hours for women.  Even when digging into the statistics a little more deeply I find these conclusions surprising. 

So why is it that we do not recognise our increased leisure time?  Is there something else at play?    I wonder whether it is actually to do with the choices we make?   Do we not recognise leisure time for what it is?  Do we not know how to take time out?  A friend’s husband commented recently that it was she who is addicted to her blackberry, in contrast to her school age children who do know when to put their tablets down.   The friend in question works 4 days a week, runs a family home and organises three other lives aside from her own.  I suspect that she feels so harried and pressured about what she has to do, or so scared of what might get dropped at work that she cannot leave her email alone.  

In her latest book ‘Pressed for Time’ Professor Judy Wacjman argues that we like to blame technology for speeding up our lives and for that feeling that it’s all getting out of control.  Instead she argues it is the choices that we make around technology that are responsible and that sometimes we are not making enough choiceful decisions.  The speed of technology and the change that it brings does make it feel like the world is going faster, but as she points out very eloquently units of time have not actually changed! (http://bit.ly/1yDaJSD)

In 2011 Barley, Meyerson, and Grodal published ‘E-mail as a Source and Symbol of Stress’.  The paper drew on data collected in 2001/2002 from engineers within a large global computer company.  The results then, revealed what we intuitively know today.  Ask anybody feeling overwhelmed at work the major cause and high up on the list, if not at the top will be the volume of email (unless they work for ATOS, Daimler Chrysler, Volkswagen or the Labor Ministry in the German Government*).   Having a full inbox causes anxiety and it is for this reason that email is often the first task of the day, shaping the way the day will unfold, and again it is the last task of an often extended day.   It’s easy to blame the technology but in fact it’s the way in which we use email and the context in which it sits (ref Prof Judy Wacjman).   Changing patterns of work, working across time zones, meeting attendance, tele-calls and conferencing and an increasingly networked world all make a significant contribution to feeling overwhelmed.   Add to that the unwritten and unexpressed expectations for how we handle and respond to email (timing, frequency, cc’ing), as well as the accountability that that comes if we miss an something important, and it’s no wonder that most blame a tool that was not originally intended to replace telephone conversations.    There are studies that seem to suggest that the order of the day is receiving between 100-200 mails per day of which only 15% or so may actually be useful.  I wonder whether in fact when we rush to blame technology we are actually referring to email, exacerbated by the unspoken expectations and rules that we put in place when using email and possibly, other forms of social media. 

So where do we go from here?    How do we be more choiceful about our engagement with technology – or do we really mean email?   Our technological advances without a doubt had a positive impact on many aspects of our lives, becoming an essential part of the way in which we live, work and co-ordinate with each other professionally and personally.  Families, not just workplaces rely on technology to co-ordinate with each other on a daily basis. 

How should we be organising work experiences and expectations in order to reduce our overwhelm and stress?   What personal change do we need to make to quell the anxiety and the feeling that we are servants of the technology rather than the other way around?   What boundaries and conversations do we need to negotiate our way through to bring about change for ourselves?    And of technology, should we be asking for what purpose we intend to use it, rather than blindly accepting it is ‘all good’.    Whilst Big Ben is busy marking time, what commitments do we need to make with ourselves and with others that will keep the impact of technology to something that it more personally manageable?   Maybe we can start with delineating clear time for leisure, putting the email on hold. 

Why Do Change Programmes Fail To Deliver?

Have you ever wondered why so many change programmes fail despite the constant stream of advice and guidance?  According to McKinsey about two thirds of programmes fail to live up to expectations which is a staggering statistic.  The programmes either over promise at the outset, or there is something significantly wrong with the project implementation.

What might be happening?  Putting aside for a moment any weaknesses in the implementation plan, I’ve often thought that we are missing a trick when it comes to asking people to take on something new.    We know that change is constant – regardless of its scale.  Stuff happens on a daily basis that requires a different response from us.   Is it I wonder, time to include a different perspective on change?

Many reports suggest that we fail to appreciate the ‘irrationality of human nature’ in the planning and management processes.   Scott Keller and Carolyn Aiken in ‘The Inconvenient Truth About Change Management’  refer to a number of counter-intuitive insights that could help us to adopt more productive approaches.   Whatever new recipe we use for improving change management I think that there is something else that we could be paying attention to.

An Ontological Approach to Change

Taking an ontological approach to change (ontological – from the Greek word that translates into the science of being) asks us to accept that we develop and grow through three domains.  They are the domain of language (knowledge/cognitive understanding), the domain of emotion and the domain of the body.  The term ‘body’ in reality refers to much more than a our simple physical presence, but for the purposes here we will limit it to awareness of our physical selves.

The short version to the relevance of this approach is that language is generative not just descriptive, we live in a mood and experience daily a gamut of emotions, our physical selves are both shaped by, and shape our language, moods and emotions.

Try this quick experiment.  Call to mind something that makes you angry and frustrated.  Notice the language you use to think about it, notice how you feel emotionally, notice your physical sensations (eg changes to breath, collapsing, contraction, gripping, temperature).  Now call to mind something that makes you joyful – same process.  You will I am sure be aware of feeling different in both states.  It’s obvious isn’t it.  You could try the same thing calling to mind different changes that you have experienced, ones you welcomed and ones you did not and you will notice differences in each of these domains.

The point is that we rarely if ever, pay attention to change through these lenses.   Let’s take language of a moment.  Think about the terms we use – managing change, managing resistance, change agent, change champion to name but a few.   I’ve worked on change projects and still the terminology generates for me a sense of ‘control’ although ironically, that, says as much about me as it does the terms.

Change is Personal

Our very personal response to change internally is governed by our own history, experience and perspectives.  What one person finds dis-orientating another will welcome.   How I wonder can we create the kinds of conversations and awareness that will support people to understand with more colour their ‘habitual’ or ‘conditioned’ reactions to change?  How can we   help them discover for themselves responses that will propel them towards a way of being with change that is more choiceful and helpful?

The possibilities for embracing what is unknown with confidence and for feeling far more empowered to navigate our own destiny with greater ease is available to us once we look more broadly at not just what is being asked of us, but how we are with what is being asked.
Perhaps a fundamental tenant of change management programmes should also include investment in teaching people to explore for themselves their reactions to change using an ontological approach and then equipping them with the wherewithal, the skills to be able to generate for themselves a response that more productively serves them and their organisation.

Why Somatics and Somatic Coaching?

In 1999 Tony Deifell (http://www.wdydwyd.com) was asked by a 12 year old child ‘Why do you do what you do?”.  Such a powerful question, Tony had to really work for an answer.  In 2004 he and a friend Mardie Oakes started asking other people the same question.  In 2009 Simon Sinek published his first book called ‘Start With Why’ and by 2014 the accompanying Ted Talk has had in excess of well over 20M views http://bit.ly/1ur9H7s     

So why do I do what I do?   I can come up with lots of ‘whys’ but it all boils down to the fact that I believe that our world desperately needs new forms of Leadership.    I’d like to think that I could have the influence and power to be able to create seismic shifts but that’s pretty unrealistic.  Instead, it’s about joining a community, being part of a voice that is calling for more present, more conscious and connected forms of Leadership.

What do I mean by that?

At it’s simplest level I think that we are out of touch with who we are and what makes us happy. Many of us get caught up in the treadmill of life, the rat race, the ever spiralling quest for bigger, better, faster at any cost.   We have disconnected to what is really important to us.   And yet, I meet people every day who have a deep deep desire to find another way.  That’s my big picture ‘why’.  We need to create a seismic shift in our world which requires that we all courageously step into Leadership.

At another level, I recently had a client who emailed to say that the work we did was still helping him, that he was able to remain connected to what was really important to him as a Leader, remember what he was good at and what he was there to do.  He’d been passing on what he had learnt to others who were experiencing anxiety, stress, who were not performing as they were really able to.  That’s my smaller picture ‘Why’.   The ripple fffect, or put another way, from little acorns grow big trees.

Why do I do what I do?   Because grand stage or small stage, what got us here, will not get us there – deep down I think that we know that we need different forms of Leadership.

I specialise in Somatic Coaching, a very often unfamiliar term.   Grounded in Neuroscience it offers a powerful and effective road to change in a way that other forms of coaching do not.   Derived from the Greek “Soma”  (roughly translated as the body in it’s living wholeness) it offers a comprehensive approach to change and transformation that envisions individuals as conceptual, biological, emotional, spiritual and social beings (http://www.generativesomatics.org).

Call it change, transformation, growth or development, Somatics argues that achieving something new in our lives needs complete attention to ‘everything that we are’.   How many times do we ‘know what we need to do’ and yet we are not able to do it?   Knowing cognitively is often not enough, quick tips and fixes are often not enough.  Instead we can be caught in patterns of behaviour, often operating below our conscious awareness, that need exploring, changing or adding to.

As human beings the cultural, institutional, political and historical forces that we are immersed in shape and influence our every day life.  These forces have a significant often unobserved impact on how we have grown and evolved.  They shape our language, our emotional response and how we physically show up.   Think for a moment on ‘blonde jokes’ prevalent certainly in English speaking, western cultures.   We talk about having a ‘blonde moment’, without a second thought.  Where does this idea come from – what does it say about how we regard blondes?  There are many ways in which our language both reflects and shapes our thinking.   It’s the same with our emotional and physical presence.

It is the role of the somatic coach to help the client bring attention to everything that is at play for them within the domain of the challenges they face.  It requires the skill of mindful attention and awareness to what is on and below the surface from both the client and the coach.   It requires determination to integrate new practices and new ways of working with ourselves beyond the self-talk of ‘come on, you should be able to do this’.   By taking more than a functional approach to our lives, we can find ourselves enriched, more capable, with more confidence, more determined and more connected to why we do what we do.