I know what I need to do. I know what I should do. I even know how. And yet. I don’t.
How many times have you heard yourself saying this?
If like me, you’ve ever sat with that gap, staring at the thing you've already decided to do, and not doing it, you’ll know how maddening it is. You're intelligent. You've built a career on knowing things and acting on them. So what is this?
It's not weakness. It's not resistance in the way that word usually gets used. And it's almost certainly not about strategy.
Here's what's actually going on.
Underneath the part of you that thinks, plans and decides, there's an older system. Much older. The part of your brain that evolved first wasn't built for spreadsheets or stakeholder conversations. It was built for one thing: survival. And it is still, right now, doing its job. Scanning. Assessing. Asking, at a level far below conscious thought, “Is this safe? Am I safe? Are these people safe?”
When the answer is yes, the thinking brain gets to run things. You plan, decide, act and everything flows as you want it to.
When the answer is anything other than yes, when there's a faint signal of threat, even one you can't name, maybe that makes no rational sense, the older part of your brain takes over. Not dramatically or obviously. It just quietly, persistently, applies the brakes.
This is why knowing isn't always enough. You can know exactly what needs to happen and still find yourself not doing it. Not because you lack commitment, but because some part of your nervous system hasn't yet received the signal that it's safe to move.
This is the gap most leadership development doesn't touch.
In a world which prioritises left brain over right, it focuses on the thinking brain with skills, frameworks, behavioural strategies. All are useful of course, but none of this will reach the part that's actually running the show when things feel hard, exposed, or uncertain.
The work that does reach it isn't about thinking differently. It's about helping the body, the whole nervous system learn that it's safe to act. Sometimes the assessment of threat is real. The work teaches the body how to resource and respond in the face of that. Sometimes the assessment of threat is unreal, based on some now past event which looks and feels similar but isn’t. The work teaches realistic assessments and response. It shows you how to move.
When your response shifts, the gap closes. Not because you convinced yourself regardless but because something underneath the decision finally said yes.
Is there a place in your leadership where you know, and yet you don't? Is there someplace in your leadership where you can feel the brakes on and yet, you’d like to release them?
